Dear Glen,
At this writing I am a young man, just launching into the uncharted domain of middle age. So I wanted to write a letter to the man I will become from the person I now am. Odd, isn't it? This isn't a poem, really. But there is a certain poetic flavor to reaching into the future to the person I hope to be in old age. I pray this letter finds you strong in the Lord. I have so many questions for you, mysteries that baffle me now, but which to you must seem quite clear by comparison.
I wonder, are you still ministering to the littlest ones in the faith, the children and their families? Does their laughter still cause your heart to soar? Do you still take delight in serving them? In the late hours of the night do you place your hands on the globe as you did in your youth to pray for the nations and hurting of the world? Do you weep for those who are marginalized? Have you learned to set aside your own needs so that you may meet the needs of others? Have you truly learned the pay the price of discipleship?
You may recall the struggles I now face. This sense of openness which has surfaced in recent years has been hard for so many reasons. Do you remember? Do you remember how you felt when the first forays into transparency were met with harsh criticism, even vindictive gossip, from church people? Do you remember the disillusionment, the temptation to check out altogether? Do you remember the struggle to emerge from shyness into mature godly confidence? God used many people to help in that journey. I wonder, who will God use in the days leading up to your reading of this letter? And whom will you influence?
Glen, never forget the Scipture you were raised on, "Count it all joy when you experience many kinds of trials, knowing this that the testing of your faith works patience." I know that growing old will bring new challenges while also possibly setting current ones aside. I wonder, are you poised to finish well? Am I? As you look back, can you see a pattern of conduct that honors the Lord? Will this life we lead, young and old, make a difference for others in eternity?
I am going to press on toward the mark of my high calling in Jesus Christ, Glen. The cross I now carry was given by the Lord. You remember that morning, yes? You remember screaming with all your heart, "I want the cross!" You said that because you understood it was the cross ordained for you by the Lord.
The veil of time that separates us is fast evaporating with each heart beat. Soon we will meet personally as this letter calls to your memory the young man you once were, the person I now am. Have patience, Glen. By God's grace I will do my best to remain faithful to the end, not for reasons of vanity, but so that when God calls you before his face in his throne room, you will have the privilege of hearing, "Well done, good and faithful servant." And then, the tears you now cry will be wiped away by the Lord Jesus Christ, himself.
2 comments:
This is in every sense poetic, in the same way that the beauty of the raw truthfulness of the psalmists is poetic.
I can tell that you mean every word here, and that is what is really important about this--heart motivation. Keeping it real, day by day for God, depending on Him for it all, and always checking our motivation, whatever we are doing, asking ourselves whether what we are doing serves in some way to glorify Him, or just gratify us.
I am often overwhelmed with emotion of late. I don't know if that's a middle-aged thing or what, but I find that if I was not sensitive in my youth, it's being made up for now. Part of that passion is wanting so badly to become the man I want to be for the Lord, and then remembering that I should be wanting to be the man the Lord wants me to be. I have to get out of the way, and it is a situation that I repeatedly find myself in.
I wonder a lot of the time if I have scratched the surface of true discipleship, and I come away from such musings thinking that the surface is all I've ever known. Wanting to go deeper with the Lord is again for me, a constant thing.
I've always considered myself to be an honest guy, but I have often been afraid to be honest with God, to tell Him, "I just don't feel much like reading your word today, or talking with you today." "I have things I don't want to face with you today." Those have existed. Why ignore them? He certainly doesn't. I have to ask Him to change my heart.
As I get older, the value of time lost with Him gets more glaringly apparent. Perhaps because when I was five years old, a year was a fifth of my lifetime. At forty-nine, a year is one forty-ninth of my lifetime, and it seems to be jetting by. Every opportunity, every missed moment is something that had the possibility to be something cherished, something productive. The comedian, Red Skelton, once said that the biggest enemy we have is procrastination. I think he was on to something big there.
Enough of my rambling :) Thank you very much for this post.
Thanks for the thoughts, David. I sure do appreciate you. When I wrote this the other day, it occurred to me that I would love to have read my thoughts from twenty years ago. I have limited writings from my earlier years, especially from my teen years. But this is the first time I have written a letter specifically for my future self, however long the Lord may wait to take me away. This exercise truly made me think carefully about what I wanted to say, and how I wanted to say it.
Blessings,
Glen Woods
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